Namjoons Gay Bodyguard @btscryptid God I just remembered that one time I got a pair of ripped up jeans that were just a little too tight for my thighs, and I just was like “fuck it I’ll make it work” because they fit everywhere else just fine, and one day at work I squatted and they just exploded off my legs.
Before my mum passed away, she gave my dad strict instructions to water the plants in the bathroom. He's been religiously watering them & keeping them alive. They look so amazing he decided to take them to his new home, only to discover they are plastic! Can hear my mum chuckling
the uncle who works at the vietnamese place i always go to said "it's been a while since you've come here. were you busy? take care" and made my chicken banhmi with extra meat 😭😭😭
What is the dumbest solution to a problem that actually worked?
I went to cancel a doctor's appointment and they said it was a $200 charge without a week's notice. I asked how much it was to reschedule, they said it was free.
"Okay, so I need to reschedule for two weeks out."
"Is three weeks okay?"
"Yep."
"Alright, you're all set for three weeks fr
My friend group got some salvia back in 08. It did literally nothing to me, it had varying effects on my siblings and friends, but my ex took a big hit and said, "yeah, this isn't doing anything for me." And then about five seconds later he stood up, smacked himself in the face three times with both hands, yelled "oh my god, where's the kitchen?" T
What's the dumbest beliefs you had as a child? When I was 4-5 I swore that bird seeds grew birds, thus the name. When my parents asked me to prove it to them, I planted a pile of bird seeds. The next day there were loads of birds where I planted the seeds, showing I was right.
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